And so it begins...

3 weeks ago today, I began what I hope to be my last weight loss journey of my life...

I have tried everything... And I do mean everything to lose weight...

I am 32 years old. I teach high school biology for a living. I am happily married with 2 beautiful kids.

And I am morbidly obese.....

I was an overweight kid, who became a chubby teen, who then gained the freshman 15 plus a boyfriend, who then gained another 60 or so pounds after she got comfortable with the relationship, who gained more weight after getting married to said boyfriend... Fast forward 2 kids and 10 years of marriage later, and here I am....

When I say I have tried everything, I have tried every fad diet out there... It began at home as a child. My mom put us (the entire family) on each fad diet she heard about that had been a success for someone she knew... The cabbage soup diet, the hotdog diet, salads only, skipping dinner, etc... Since getting married, the hubby and I have tried "cutting back", Atkin's, South Beach, low fat, low carb... You get the picture....

I had begun to take a hard look at weight loss surgery... You see, I weighed 327 lbs as of 9/1/2010. That's hard to type, hard to read, and even harder to internalize as my reality... However, it was my reality.... The cold, hard truth....

So, as a last ditch effort prior to applying for weight loss surgery, I have decided to try Weight Watchers. Three weeks in tonight, I think it's the smartest move I have ever made. This is the 1st weight loss program I have been on that I am not looking for ways to cheat. By this point in any other diet, I'd be looking for ANY reason to break the diet... I'd be depressed, miserable, etc... even if I were losing weight... Sad, huh?

The truth is, I love to eat. Food has become to me what nothing else has been. I have forgotten how to eat like a normal person. Weight Watchers is teaching me how to do this - eat normally. No restrictions on food choice, just using good old common sense with simple math skills... LOL

Tonight was my 4th weigh in. I lost 4 lbs the 1st week. Last week, I had NO weight loss and while I was disappointed, I continued to follow plan. This week, I have lost another 3.

I want to share/vent about my weight loss struggles, but not for the whole world who KNOWS me to see... I am not ready for that yet. While I have faced the 300+ lb demon that I have become - I am not ready to admit that secret to anyone else, save for a couple of really close friends, my wonderfully supportive husband (who incidentally is following the plan and counting points as well, just not attending meetings...), and my WW leader - who is precious! I am also afraid of failure - again - and having to face that failure in front of those that know me and are used to seeing my excitement in the beginning - only to fizzle out. This feels different, but I need to KNOW it's different... And time will tell.

I need the accountability that meetings provide. I need the support of others who are there - or who have been there. I also needed a plan that was not about producing fast results - but rather that produces slow, steady results that can be maintained. I have been amazed that I can do this. Actually, I have been amazed that I get so many points. I have struggled with eating all of them. I still have trouble comprehending that I CAN have things like burgers, chocolate and bread - as long as I plan accordingly.

So that's me. Down a total of 7 lbs thus far. I have a LONG journey ahead of me and I'm SURE I'll need to vent. Maybe I'll start posting what I am eating/doing... Maybe I'll just ramble here. It will be good for my soul regardless... Maybe I'll be inspiration for someone else like me - really large, scared of surgery, looking for something, ANYthing to help them get into control again....

I'll post again soon. For better or worse. :)

Start Stats:
Height 5' 8"
Weight 327

Tonight Stats:
Weight 320
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7 lb loss to date